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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang... [11 Jan 2005|03:31pm]

They were all so frozen, so petrified. As they should be. In the presence of such greatness as mine and even Illyria's. They should bow before us, weak minded mortals. So smug these beings, haughty in the miniscule amount of power they had. Or...

Thought they had. Snatching the child from whichever fool possessed it I snapped its neck in my jaws, the crunch of weak bone appeasing me greatly. Their fate was sealed now. They could not prevent the end now, their hope was smashed. I would rule them, they would know me as their god. Once I crushed Illyria all would be well.
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[02 Jan 2005|09:55am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

Son of a bitch. I should have known that I'd take the heat for Angel escaping. Shit rolls downhill and all that jazz. No one was stepping up to take responsibility for the breach in security. Of course, the employees lower on the totem poll than me, couldn't step up, them being dead and all. For a few minutes, while in the meeting with my employers, I wondered if they were going to send me for retraining and if so, how I could get them to just kill me instead.

The retraining program at Wolfram and Hart wasn't nothing to sneeze at. Very few employees returned from retraining and those that did, well, they were only shells of the people who'd been carted off in the first place. The meeting felt a little like the time the seers had me balls to the wall about helping Angel and his team of do gooders, and Holland was sitting across from me, ready to blow my fucking brains out if I said or did the wrong thing.

Maybe I'm just not as worried about death anymore. There was fear, years ago, when I was faced with what could happen to me for betraying the firm. This time, I was more annoyed than anything. It's not my damn fault someone screwed up and let Angel out of his cage. Did I look like someone who was happy to have Angel back among the living and breathing? It's not like we were buddies and friends.

Hell, my biggest concern is how long it will be before Darla decides she wants her darling boy back and we slide back a few years in time to the obsession triangle that never ends. Sorry, I'm too fucking old to be begging my wife not to leave me and run back to her vampire lover. If she wants him? Fuck it, not much I can do about that right?

Except, she doesn't seem to want him. In fact, she seems more pissed off about him getting free than the people I work for. That leads me to believe that Darla is ready to step up to the plate and make Angel wish he was back being locked up. Now, that is something I can happily agree to help with. Whatever my wife wants to do in the name of payback? Hell, she won't have to ask twice. I'm ready to bring the son of a bitch back to his cage.

If only they'd let us just kill the vampire and be done with it. Yeah, yeah, I know already, he plays a part in the apocalypse. Fuck that. Not like he's going to be batting on our side, so let's take his ass out now.

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afraid of her shadow [25 Dec 2004|12:51pm]

I was makin' with the mopin' when I heard a giant ruckus downstairs and rushed down to investigate. Not that I coulda done any good, considering I'm not a Slayer and not much with the witchiness anymore either. But curiosity killed the cat and will probably kill the Willow too. It's a flaw.

It wasn't just a ruckus. It was a ruckusy hubbub and I was lucky I stopped short at the top of the stairs, cause Faith and Kennedy were in the middle of fighting with Wesley. I barely recognized him. I just stood there, kinda transfixed. It was like when Buffy first started with the Sunnydale slayage and I would just watch her and be awed that a girl like me could do what she did. Except she wasn't a girl like me. And neither were Kennedy and Faith.

"Oh boy," I whispered, just staring. Wes was no vampire. No demon. Just a really nice guy with something not so nice stuck inside him. I wanted to do something, do a spell or something, but I knew how that was going to work out. I'd probably say the wrong thing or lose the magicks in me and collapse and then Wolfy Wes would kill me.

And I wasn't even willing to try. That's the scary part, is I didn't even want to. It's not like I wanted him to eat Faith and Kennedy (Tessa... maybe) but I knew I couldn't do anything to stop it and there was nothing I could do, so I chose not to do anything. I just stared, and then when I couldn't stare any more, I ran back into my room.

It was like my feet had wings.

As soon as I got into the bedroom, I whipped out my magic stuff and started chanting. A protection spell wasn't going to help, I knew that it wasn't going to help -- but I couldn't not do it. I had to do it.

I had to try, because otherwise I was just a scared little girl.
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[24 Dec 2004|12:37am]

"And whether or not you find this plan feasible is none of my concern. This is our only option and you are either with me...or against me."

I sigh, really I could only take so much of Illyria’s dramatics. We needed to separate her or it or whatever from Fred and the Wolf from Wesley. It made sense in a way that told me I had been living way to weird of a life. Though at the same time I was dreading the prospects of actually finding a way to do this I as also kind of happy at the prospect of having both Fred and Wesley back. Now maybe I was just being naive, or way over optimistic but I could not help but hope to have some of all the things taken from me returned.

“Of course I am with you.” I said trying not to let her know how badly she still weirded me out. Of course she knew, she always seemed to know and that was half the problem. “Look maybe we can try and get Willow to help. Hey she did nearly destroy the world and than turned around and help save it in like less than two years time, I say that qualifies her as a pretty strong witch.” Illyria gives me a look that says ‘die pathetic mortal your foolish suggestion annoys me.’ Or something, I just sigh and rub my eyes.

“Yeah I know not the most original idea but I am really on your side because honestly you scare me too much.” She did scare me at times, when I saw her I no longer saw Fred anymore and in a way that was something that has made life a bit easier. Just a little.
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[19 Dec 2004|08:56pm]


I was trying unseccessfully to just relax on the bed and watch Van Helsing when Morrigan started crying. At first it didn't seem like a big deal. I checked her diaper. Nothing. I picked up the bottle, she didn't want it or the pacifier. I carried her around the room trying everything I could think of but she just cried louder and louder until I started to wonder if she knew something I didn't. I carried her over and put got ready to leave in case we had to. I packed weapons right along with diapers and formula.

I glanced at the time. The slayers should have checked in by now. Suddenly I wished I hadn't forced Kennedy to involve me in this. I wasn't sure I wanted to be responsible for not getting Morrigan killed. And if this thing got past Ken, then that was just what was going to happen. And that could mean the end of the world...again.

I looked at Morrigan wishing she could talk. Wishing she could tell me want was wrong. She seemed to be looking at me, wanting to tell me something, but I could only guess that something was wrong and she somehow knew it.

Finally, I gave up. Faith might kill me for it, but the only thing I could come up with was that it wasn't safe to stay here. So I was getting the hell out of Dodge. I threw the bag I packed over my shoulder and picked up Morrigan's carseat. I would get Dawn, Xander, and Willow and leave. If they didn't agree, I'd take Morrigan without them. At least I knew they wouldn't be able to stop me. And I highly doubted those men would shot me with a baby in my arms.

I decided to load up the car I'd rented before starting the fight about whether or not we should leave with the others. I was just about to turn around to get Dawn when she ran out. She must have seen me loading up the car from a window.

Before she could question me, Morrigan stopped crying. Just like the crying was a switch she could turn on and off. I glanced around trying to figure out what she was telling me when I heard a scream. A few blocks down, a wolf tore into a woman that got in its way. Thankfully, he was too into his meal to notice us. While Dawn stared in shock, I buckled Morrigan into the car seat. Then I grabbed Dawn.

"We have to leave."

She looked back at the hotel and I knew she was thinking of the others. I was too. But I had to save Morrigan first. She was special and even if I didn't why, the world needed her.

"There's no time Dawn. I have to get Morrigan out of here. Get in the car or stay."

With that, I got in and started the engine, hoping Dawn would join me.
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[19 Dec 2004|04:29pm]

[ mood | confused ]

After we dropped Faith off, I wondered if we were going to stay, but they seemed to have it taken care of. I wanted to make sure she was alright and then get blood, I was needing it, the smell of Faith's blood was getting to me and I had to close my eyes, clenching my teeth to try to fight it. It's been so long. When we dropped them off at the Hyperian, Buffy left with me, taking me back to my apartment, or I think we're going there. Everything at the moment is blurring together to tell you the truth. I wasn't sure what Buffy would do when she saw me and now she's helping me. She was one person that I wanted to see and the other ... Wes, but ... he's not Wes anymore and now he's some beast. Some beast that we couldn't beat. Feel guilty about that. If I wasn't so weak, I know we could have taken it down ... somehow. But, with me being weak, lack of blood and training, there was no hope. Now, I have to get myself back up to the way I used to be, then we can take him down. Or try to help him and bring Wes back. Whatever comes first.

I was thinking after I got something to eat and rested for a bit, Buffy and I could talk, find out what's going on, well, for me, and then we could train some. She could help me, that is if she wanted to. I'm not going to push it though, it's been ten years since I've seen her. There's so much I want to say to her, so much I wanted to say to everyone, so much I wanted to find out. But mostly, it's her. It'll always be her.

Now we're pulling up to the apartment building and I look over at her. She seems squimish, so again, not going to push. Besides, there's not much to push, I know if I needed help with anything, she'd help, but most likely, I won't ask. Well, except for blood. That's the main thing I need now. We both get out of the car, not really saying much and we head inside. I'm still thinking about all that's happened and what could have been avoided had I not been in that cell. There's so much more to find out, so much more that I need to do.

(tag: Buffy)

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[19 Dec 2004|01:40am]


All the way back to the hotel I couldn't shake the feeling that no one was taking this seriously enough. Angel wanted to eat and Buffy wanted to go...do whatever with him. Did they not realize that we just got our asses kicked, the wolf might be coming after us and we might all be dead soon? I personally was hoping Morrigan would turn all super-baby and kick some wolf ass. But that seemed just a bit unrealistic. Though probably more realistic than conviencing Tessa to get herself back to the hellmouth where it was safe.

The fact that I meant that last thought is evidence just how fucked up everything is right now.

But then, things looked pretty much as bad after the bomb exploded in Sunnydale ten years ago also. At least Faith was concious this time.

Buffy pulled up to the hotel to let Faith and me out and I was already worried. Something just felt wrong. I should have called Tessa when we left. Warned her. But calling her now might just give away her hiding place if she had one. Okay, maybe a bit paranoid, but hey, I'm not going to be anymore responisble for her death than I already might be.

Angel opened the door helped me get Faith out of the car. Thankfully, my shoulder seemed to be growing back some of the parts that served as wolf-lunch earlier. With Faith leaning heavily against me, I managed to walk into the lobby to be greeted by the last thing I wanted to see.
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[15 Dec 2004|07:57pm]

Wretched foul humans!!! They invade my home, interrupt my meal and then slink away into the polluted night. Their weapons cannot stop me, they can only give me momentary pause. I will not go away, I will not give up. The child will be destroyed, the whirlwind shall be reaped. Tearing their foul dart from my flesh I crush it in my claws. No more waiting. Moving to the window I see them fleeing in their car below. Locked away deep inside Wesley screams, trying to prevent this.

There is no stopping this. I will destroy his family just as I've destroyed him. They will all witness the power of The Wolf, and they will tremble as they bow before me. Shattering the window as I leap through it I land on a parked car below, crushing it with the force of my landing. Snarling I take a more direct route to the vampire's hotel. They will not escape, and won't my precious daughter be surprised to find daddy waiting?

I will be the last thing she sees before she dies. Watching helplessly as I rip Morrigan into a thousand pieces before her eyes. Then this will be finished.
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[11 Dec 2004|07:06pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

"He escaped, Lindsey, and I have no fucking idea where he is."

All it took was twelve words to spin my world on it's axis. Angel. Gone. Escaped. Fucking perfect. Darla was pissed off and wanted vengeance. I got no problem with vengeance, but I do have a problem with the passion that Darla has for Angel.Yeah, she says it's all about hating him and wanting him to be punished, but I know that hate can easily turn into love. Been there plenty of times. Now that Angel is out and free to take back his life? I can't help but wonder how long it will be before some of those old feelings buried deep inside Darla start to surface.

It's been years and we're still playing the same games. Old feelings die hard, and I've come to damn far to lose her to him. How the hell did he escape? Who is helping him? How long before he shows up on my door step wanting to pay back a little of his own vengeance?

I got too many questions and not enough answers. This isn't my comfort zone. I don't like being the one who is missing the important information. Obviously, I need to find the answers, and find them fast. Only way to keep my head and not have Angel or the Senior Partners on my ass is to figure out what went wrong and then I'll take the steps necessary to put Angel back where he belongs.

First thing I need to find out is how he got out. Someone fucked up and they are going to have to pay for that. Angel getting free isn't a mistake that can be overlooked. There is entirely too much clean up involved. Fuck. Like I need this right now?

Darla and I have had the past few years together and things have been perfect. She was able to be saved and I'll be damned if I let anyone hurt her or take her from me again. No way in hell as long as I'm still breathing. So, I just need to make sure I stay breathing.

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[10 Dec 2004|11:33pm]

Faith was stabbed and the rest of us had been sufficiently beaten when Angel finally shot the beast with a tranquilizer. I still wanted to fight when Angel came near Kennedy and myself and said "We need to go, we're not going to win this, not right now." I stood up and was about to say that I still had some fight in me when I felt it, felt a pain in my side.

“Alright maybe that is best.” I said watching the thing that had been Wesley as it twitched on the floor. “Kennedy you help Angel with Faith.” I said grabbing my axe just in case the animal is not as subdued as I thought.

We finally made it out to the car feeling defeated, bested, and still replaying the image of Wesley turning into that.. that.. thing. I shuddered as I watched Angel help get Faith safely put inside.

“We need to get her home, get her bandaged up.” I said finally putting my trusty axe away and jumping in the drivers seat. I looked behind me at Faith, I wondered if she still resented me, wished I was no longer in her life. Than again maybe I was the one resenting her; that was psychology 101 after all. “We did our best, we need to do better.”

((open to anyone involved))
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I am not an angry girl... [05 Dec 2004|03:34pm]

"Speak in my presence without permission once more half-breed and I'll be adding your dust to my wonderful dinner. My darling daughter, I see you've neglected to bring my Morrigan to me. Perhaps I shall use your slayer friends for target practice. Again that is."

Here we were. We. Funny how at that moment I felt like I was alone again, facing off against this thing that was supposed to be my husband but was actually my father. Wondered what my prison shrink would say about that one? Not that it mattered. My life was so clearly not like other people.

The more he brought up my daughter, the more I remembered what it felt like when he tried to stab her in the heart with a pen. Panic, and an overwhelming sense of failure because I couldn't stop him. But with that memory, I also remembered that he just couldn't do it. She'd done something to him, and I vaguely wondered if Morrigan managed to crawl into his brain the way she crawled into mine. She might be the only thing that could still get at Wesley, wherever he was buried deep inside.

I was unsure about what to do. After all these years I still wanted to turn to B or Angel to play the part of big strapping hero. Funny how just bein' back in L.A. brings back the sulky defensive slayer that I used to be. Wasn't that what I'd been afraid of when the two of us had left England to come back here. All because of a stupid note. A stupid note that gave Wolfram and Hart access to my family.

In that one second of anger I remembered something. The feeling of a trigger as I squeezed it with my finger, brains splattered no the pristine walls behind. Clenching my jaw, in one quick move I dropped my crossbow to the ground and grabbed the tranquilizer gun Angel was holding onto out of his hands. Raising the weapon up I aimed it at Wesley's chest and squeezed the trigger. Enough playing around. Enough toying with me. I was fucking pissed off and ready to fight back.
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back to stay [22 Nov 2004|09:37am]

I glanced down at the thin band of gold encircling the fourth finger of my left hand. I looked at it a lot lately, hadn’t been able to take my eyes off of it since he’d placed it on my finger five years before. Five years. Had it been that long?

We’d just celebrated our wooden anniversary. Lindsey’d presented me with a wooden cross, his version of a joke. We’d both laughed, tossing it into the fire he’d insisted on building. I wasn’t that girl anymore; I had no need to be afraid of two perpendicular sticks symbolizing an event that I hadn’t even been alive to witness.

And I’d seen a lot of events in over four hundred years of death and destruction, indescribable pain and unbelievable beauty and wonder. And four hundred years was still so short. I’d said that before and it still held true. I had a reflection now and every time I happened to glance into the mirror, I’d find a new, minute line etched into my skin.

I didn’t mind it, really. I minded it even less on Lindsey. Age looked distinguished on him, he wore years as well as designer suits or cowboy boots. I just couldn’t help thinking that it was easier to live for lifetimes without growing older. But I never dwelled on such thoughts. They were all superficial and not at all befitting the wife of a - of Lindsey.

When he’d first brought me back, I’d been unable to ignore the blind rage seething inside of me. My life, at this rate, would never be over. It wasn’t that being alive bothered me so much, it was the concept of dying that I couldn’t face. When he’d calmed me down, I made him promise that this was the last time - that when I died, he’d let me die, and he wouldn’t find someone to vamp me again. I would die the way I was supposed to and -

Except, of course, that wouldn’t be necessary. He’d forced Wolfram and Hart doctors to work day and night from the instant I’d dusted myself, worked them until they’d come up with a cure for my deadly condition. I was human for the long haul, now.

Fast forward five years, and here we were - working diligently for the Senior Partners, doing our part to make sure that Angel remained miserable and hidden. I had no residual feelings for Angelus, nothing left but annoyance and loathing. Not only had he wrecked my life constantly, he'd taken my son from me and everybody who'd cared about him. He'd taken his memories, made him forget about the mother who sacrificed herself for him. I wasn't a memory for Connor. We didn't share a soul any longer, we had no connections.

Angel had severed all of those, and for that, he needed to be punished.

Not that he wasn’t being punished.

Suddenly the phone rang and I reached lazily for it. “Hello?”

The news on the other end wasn’t pleasing. “He’s what?” I asked flatly, my eyes narrowing. They repeated their news. Angel - the real Angel - had escaped. I slammed the phone down and dialed the number of Lindsey’s cell phone. He wasn’t going to be pleased.
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[21 Nov 2004|04:30pm]

"Okay don't get your scaley leather undies in a twist, I know what you used to be. Just let me know what your plan is and then I will decide if it is possible or not."

I stared at Cordelia Chase and wondered if she even knew of the back history between myself and The Wolf. I doubted she even knew who or what type of being I was, let alone the history this creature and I shared. I stared at her, "The Wolf, the one inhabiting your friend's body, and I are ancient enemies. We were once embroiled in a battle that lasted centuries. We killed countless of each other's followers all in the name of power and honor. Never was there a clear victor or champion, though the title did sway between us precariously. That changed when The Wolf joined forces with The Ram and The Hart. Combined their power was enough to imprison me, but not kill me."

I stared at her, watching her soak in the information I had just placed at her feet, "And do you want to know why The Wolf chose to accept allies?" I walked closer to her and glared, "Because he knew that I held the key to his destruction. Many of my followers had been working on a way to relieve the worlds, the infinite worlds, of his chaos and destruction. And they found a way. But my Qwa'ha Xahn betrayed me and the rest of his people for nothing more than his meaningless death. My people were able to use a partial piece of the puzzle to defeating The Wolf on he and the two others, which is why it took them so long to crawl their way back to the top."

I stared at her, "I still hold the secret to defeating him...and his two cohorts. But first, we must remove The Wolf from your friend Wesley's body, and me from Winifred's so that we may battle in our true forms. Only in The Wolf's true form may he be defeated. Now, Cordelia Chase, we must find someone who is adept with the mystics that can perform a spell to separate beings from one another." I tilted my head staring at her, "And whether or not you find this plan feasible is none of my concern. This is our only option and you are either with me...or against me."
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Not really the welcome I expected... [20 Nov 2004|08:53pm]

[ mood | calm ]

When I got back to the Hyperion Faith was having a heated discussion with someone that looked a lot like her only older. They were being all hostile. I tried to intervene, and the lady got all hostile with me. She even drew a gun. When I was away on buisness I accquired a high-end security company. I brought a few of them with me to guard the hotel.

Right about when the bitch from hell was leaving Buffy, Willow, Tessa, and Dawn walked in. I was just about to talk to Faith about who the woman was and what the hell she was talking about when Faith walked over to Buff and took her away to talk to her. I guess I shouldn't have expected Buff or Willow to even acknowledge my prescence. After all of these years I should be used to it I guess.

I told Dawn that I'd see her a little later and went up stairs to finish up some buisness. My secretary already had a ton of messages for me that I had gotten on my flight to L.A. I flipped through them and took care of the most pressing matters. Then I called the head guy of the security company and told him to send twelve of his top guys as fast as he could to L.A.

I dismissed Shirley, told her to have some off time, sleep or whatever she wanted to do. Before I did I told her to call the local florist and have her send a dozen roses of various colors for each month that I was gone and to have the security guy at the door deliver them to Dawn's room.

I decided to take a shower since I always felt gross after a long flight. I turned up the heat of the shower and got in. I just stood there and let the hot water beat down on me and tried to remember a reason besides Dawn why I came back here.

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back to wicca [19 Nov 2004|12:45pm]

The Slayers were gone, which was good, cause I was sick of everybody looking at me like I was sposed to do something I just couldn’t do. I mean, of course I want to help protect Morrigan, and it’s not like I want Faith dead (or at least, you know, not anymore), but it’s just hard to get my focus back when everybody’s waiting for me to do it.

And yeah, yeah. Since everybody (except Tessa) is gone, now is obviously prime magickin’ time. I got there already, even managed to slip out to a magic shop to procure some quality (and way overpriced) supplies. I didn’t need all of it for a simple protection spell, but I figured that if the preliminary stuff went okay then I could try something a little more complicated. May be do the swoopy thing and save the day, save Wes, save... well, pretty much save everybody.

By the time I got back to the hotel, I was feeling pretty confident. Almost full of myself, but not, you know, in the conceited way. Not confident enough to let Tessa see my bag of goodies, which I dutifully hid in my messenger bag, because I didn’t want her to go blabbing to Kennedy about “what Willow did!” Stupid Tessa. I don’t know what she has against me, I mean so what - she’s dating my ex and, if I recall, it was me who did the heartbreakin’.

Of course, now that Kennedy’s got the new sig-o, she and Tessa are acting like it was the other way around. Well, less Kennedy and more Tessa. I feel like getting those iron on letters and writing “OK, I AM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND.” Then, of course, she’d just think I was trying too hard and go even further out of her way to avoid me.

Earth to Tessa: The only girl that I have ever loved has been dead for ten years. And the only guy I’ve loved is a werewolf somewhere in... wherever werewolves go to not be wolfy anymore. So you love Kennedy? I’m glad. Someone should. But I couldn’t. The end.

So I just told her that I was going to take a nap and she thought that was fine, because she didn’t want to deal with me any more than I wanted to deal with her.

I went into my room and changed into white and surrounded myself with white candles. At any other point in my life I would’ve pooh-poohed the safety gear, but right now I couldn’t take any chances. I’m usually the last to admit that my magic sometimes goes kaflooey, and even a little spell flaring out could probably end the world, with my aura as jumbled up as it is. The world’s a little delicate right now.

I closed my eyes and began chanting slowly, focusing my attention on the small crystal that I held in my palms. “Upon Faith and Morrigan I place this spell.” It began vibrating gently - I could feel its tiny movements in my hand. I forced a deep breath. “Athena, Goddess of War, place your protection upon them. Let them be circled by your light. Keep them safe, keep them safe, keep them safe. As the crystal turns to dust beneath my palms, so must it be.”
The candles flickered and I could feel the power surging inside of me and I gasped with the feeling of it. It was bliss, it was orgasmic, it was everything I’d felt when I’d gone evil, only tenfold. Only... not. I clenched my palms together, grinding it to dust, but - it didn’t.

I opened my eyes - I didn’t even realize they were closed til I opened them - and saw that all the candles had gone out. The crystal was still whole, though. I’d messed up. I wasn’t strong enough and it had taken so much out of me. I was useless. I was a stupid, useless, awful witch and I didn’t deserve to have my own magic shop.

Well, at least I could sleep now. Just clean up the candles, change my clothes. Go to sleep and not be a liar. Rather be a liar than a stupid witch failure, but them’s the breaks.

Them’s the breaks.
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Adventures of Tom Cruise with Fangs [18 Nov 2004|11:06pm]

[ mood | content ]

Note to self: Tessa is a nifty thing to have when things feel either a) boring or b) completely out of control. I really don't know how she manages to keep her cool when it seems like things are all of a sudden going to crumble apart.

Anyway, while the slayers were off on their own little thing and god knows where we decided that it was no fun just to sit around and do nothing. That'll drive a person insane.

Xander went off to check over some things in the hotel, business stuff, of course. Willow was still asleep while I took care of Morrigan, and Tessa ran out for food that will eventually clog all of our arteries. Plus she got movies, thus solving the boredom of waiting for something to happen.

Interview With The Vampire, gotta love the girl's taste in humor. Plus, Tom Cruise with fangs is on the list of most girls fantasies. Even sisters who are Slayers who will insist that it's not one of hers.

Morrigan was fast asleep in my arms. I'm sure she was exhausted from all the noise and action lately. Besides she was just a tiny infant. We kept the volume down on the movie so she could sleep soundly. At least one of us should get a good night sleep.

"Good pick," I told Tessa softly as I propped my feet up on another nearby chair. I glanced to her on the bed. We had found a VCR in one of the suites.

I could eat later. Right now, I just wanted to hold Morrigan. I hoped that she felt safe.

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[18 Nov 2004|12:22am]

[ mood | restless ]

I looked at my watch for what was probably the millionth time. The slayers hadn't been gone too long, but I was already aching to see them safe and with the rest of us again. I knew that I couldn't fight Kennedy on letting me go. If nothing else, someone that could fight should be guarding Morrigan and neither of us had much faith in a lot of bodyguards with guns. But I still hated not being there. She didn't understand that I knew the dangers she put herself in and that was why I wanted to be there. If she died, I wanted to be there with her. Make sure she wasn't alone and dying. And everytime she went without me, I feared she'd never come back.

Not to mention that things at the hotel weren't exactly ideal. Willow was taking a nap though I was pretty sure she'd gotten plenty of sleep and was just trying to have a polite way of avoiding me--not that I minded that. I certainly didn't want to be making small talk with her of all people.

Dawn and Xander seemed to be in their own world for now and I couldn't blame them. I know Dawn had been missing Xander horribly since he left. But I was getting restless. I wanted to run or punch something or do anything but sit around doing nothing. Finally I walked over in their direction. Maybe they had some idea of something productive to do before I gave up and started doing push-ups on the floor.

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[18 Nov 2004|12:04am]


I was a little annoyed we were letting Lilah go so easily but I figued it I didn't have a lover Wolfram & Hart messed with--yet--so I'd let them keep the lead on this one. And I knew the thing we needed most was to find Wes and well, figure out what to do with him. But I also wasn't looking foward to dealing with him.

I kept thinking that I didn't know what to do besides kill him and then all I could do was hate myself for thinking it. I liked Wes! He and Faith had been so good for each other. But killing him herself would kill Faith and I knew that if it was necessary, I'd rather have to live with it than her. Part of me wished that Buffy and her gun would do it so I wouldn't have to. Especially since I couldn't imagine Faith actually letting either of us kill him.

Not that I could blame her. I'm not sure anything would make me let anyone kill Tessa. Hell, I don't think anything could even make me let Willow get hurt. I know I said I'd kill her back at Sunnydale if things went bad, but I'm not sure I ever believed I could.

We walked out of Wolfram & Hart and made our way back to Buffy's rented car. She gave me whiplash at every stoplight. What is it that slayers can do everything but drive? I know Tessa never lets me behind the wheel and I could see Angel wishing he'd done the same thing. Finally we pulled up to a building and stopped. I checked my weapons, waiting for Buffy or Faith to take the lead.
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[16 Nov 2004|01:48pm]

I frowned at the door of Angel's apartment as the good n' plenties went traipsing off to do the stupid thing...as usual. The firm would be disappointed if Angel were to be killed, but since he was off to face a fully embodied senior partner I supposed it wasn't really my problem at the moment. Maybe Mr. Wolf will just tear his limbs off and leave him alone and in agonizing pain. A girl can hope, can't she? Maybe that was just the blossoming black and blue mark on my jaw speaking. You would think these hero types would learn a thing or two after all their years of dealing with Wolfram and Hart. But no, they insist on remaining idiotic, all of their plans missing that one vital part. What do you call it again? Oh right, logic.

Shaking my head I closed the door to the penthouse behind me as I walked down into the labrynth of hallways in Wolfram and Hart. I wasn't sure what the Senior Partners had planned now that Angel had been released from his prison. Would they still wish to retain him as CEO? It seemed doubtful to me, even if the champion was willing. That left the L.A. branch of Wolfram and Hart CEOless so to speak, and I couldn't help but be excited about that prospect.

Oh Lindsey, it really is too bad you can't see me now. Idly I sometimes wondered what the former golden boy of Wolfram and Hart was up to these days. Probably strumming his guitar in some white trash bar in hickville, USA. Not that I was checking up on him or anything...

Slipping into my office, I walked over to my desk and picked up the phone. Sitting down I carefully moved the folder containing Faith's prison record out of the way and dialed the number I had memorized and knew by heart.

When the angry voice picked up on the other end I almost paused for a second. Hearing Wesley's voice and knowing who was controlling the puppet was still a little much for even this evil lawyer to get used to.

"Mr. Wolf. I'm sorry for bothering you. I have some bad news though, sir."
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[10 Nov 2004|03:50pm]


Glaring at the pathetic twit in front of me I was not displeased to see him soil his trousers as he fled. A lesson to the rest of his legal brethren. My brothers and I had founded this firm, to see it run by such a sniveling group of maggots was disheartening, yet the necessity was unavoidable.

Our captive champion had escaped after a decade of captivity. How his spirit hadn't been quashed years ago was a question I would soon have answered. His jailers had grown overconfident, rested on their laurels. Soon they would rest in their own graves, and I would dine on their entrails. Slamming a button down on the phone with a claw I growled into the speaker. "Bring me those responsible." Severing the connection before I would be forced to listen to some pathetic human I returned my attention to the setting sun outside the windows. Wesley and his soul stirred deep inside me, remembering a shared experiance with my tramp daughter.

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