Willow Rosenberg (spiritus_willow) wrote in back_to_slay,
Willow Rosenberg

afraid of her shadow

I was makin' with the mopin' when I heard a giant ruckus downstairs and rushed down to investigate. Not that I coulda done any good, considering I'm not a Slayer and not much with the witchiness anymore either. But curiosity killed the cat and will probably kill the Willow too. It's a flaw.

It wasn't just a ruckus. It was a ruckusy hubbub and I was lucky I stopped short at the top of the stairs, cause Faith and Kennedy were in the middle of fighting with Wesley. I barely recognized him. I just stood there, kinda transfixed. It was like when Buffy first started with the Sunnydale slayage and I would just watch her and be awed that a girl like me could do what she did. Except she wasn't a girl like me. And neither were Kennedy and Faith.

"Oh boy," I whispered, just staring. Wes was no vampire. No demon. Just a really nice guy with something not so nice stuck inside him. I wanted to do something, do a spell or something, but I knew how that was going to work out. I'd probably say the wrong thing or lose the magicks in me and collapse and then Wolfy Wes would kill me.

And I wasn't even willing to try. That's the scary part, is I didn't even want to. It's not like I wanted him to eat Faith and Kennedy (Tessa... maybe) but I knew I couldn't do anything to stop it and there was nothing I could do, so I chose not to do anything. I just stared, and then when I couldn't stare any more, I ran back into my room.

It was like my feet had wings.

As soon as I got into the bedroom, I whipped out my magic stuff and started chanting. A protection spell wasn't going to help, I knew that it wasn't going to help -- but I couldn't not do it. I had to do it.

I had to try, because otherwise I was just a scared little girl.
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